Sleep Your Way To The Top
…of wellness! What did you think I meant? Jesus, get your mind out of the gutter. This week, I am talking about my absolute favorite activity: sleeping.
There is truly nothing quite like the feeling of being tucked under the covers with the lights off, the sound machine on and the thermostat turned down to a crisp 65 degrees. I really don’t require a lot and as long as I have all those simple requests, I can sleep pretty much anywhere. However, if you disrupt my sleep, God have mercy on your soul because I will fuck you up. Not one of my finest attributes, but not one of my worst either. I credit part of this to my astrological sign. Taurus’ are known for their love of sleeping, naps and overall comfort and this bitch is no exception. But the other aspect of sleep I love is turning off my brain at night. As you can tell from many of my previous posts, my mind is seldom quiet. Sleeping is shockingly one ailment (knock on wood) that I have never had an issue with, which is also probably why I love it so much. For those of you who do suffer sleep disturbances, my heart is with you.
Since sleep is such an important topic, I am breaking this into two parts. This post will be more information-heavy so brace yourself. My apologies in advance.
Many doctors equate adequate sleep to taking out the proverbial trash. While you sleep, your brain removes toxic waste throughout the body at a significantly higher rate than when you are awake. This process helps prevent your brain from developing neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimers, Parkinson’s Disease, and ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis). Sleep not only makes you feel better, but it also heals your brain in the process.
Most people, on average, need between 7-9 hours of sleep each night. However, the average American gets less than 7 hours of sleep daily. We are currently living in a time where lack of sleep is worn like a suit of armor. The less sleep you get, the more productive and ambitious you appear (appear being the operative word). Many CEOs brag about how little sleep they need to function which sets an extremely unhealthy precedent for individuals hoping to follow in their footsteps. Elon Musk flaunts his 6-hour-per-night sleep average like he found the cure for cancer while Donald Trump apparently only needs 3-4 hours to function efficiently which actually explains his overall irritability.
I don’t know about you, but if I get less than 7.5 hours of sleep each night, I am more of a moody bitch than usual and need 10 cups of coffee just to make it through the day. I look, feel and act like Gollum on those mornings so just be sure to keep your distance if you need to be around me.
Since 7-9 hours is a large range and every person is different, it is imperative for you to figure out the ideal sleep time to meets your specific needs. One way I figured out mine was by choosing a week when I didn’t have to rely on an alarm to wake up. I realize this is a privilege that some might not have access to but weekends, vacation or holidays are a great time to test it out- even if it’s just for a couple of days. I went to sleep at the same time each night and allowed myself to wake up on my own (without an alarm clock) to see what time my body woke up naturally. After a few days, I had an idea of the average amount of sleep my body needed to work effectively.
Wash, Rinse, Repeat
During a healthy night’s sleep, you will naturally go through several repeated sleep cycles. It begins with wake time, then flows into NREM (non-rapid eye movement) sleep and ends in REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. This process then repeats itself 3-4 times.
Wake time is pretty self-fucking-explanatory. This is the time you are in bed before and after falling asleep. And that’s about it. Moving on.
Non-Rapid Eye Movement (NREM)
Have you ever had that dream where you are falling off a cliff and right before you hit the ground, you physically jump and wake up startled? I have lost years of my life to this occurrence. This startling phenomena occurs during Stage N1 of NREM, or the light sleep stage. During this part of the cycle, your muscles might jerk a bit, your body temperature drops and your respiration/heart rate decreases.
Stage N2 causes your body to become even more relaxed by creating slow-wave(delta) brain activity, which typically lasts between 30-60 minutes.
Stage N3, or deep sleep, lasts between 20-40 minutes and is typically very hard to be woken up from. This stage gives your brain a chance to repair and regenerate tissues. If you are a sleepwalker, you are most likely experiencing this stage.
Rapid Eye Movement (REM)
REM sleep is the Dom Perignon stage that everyone hopes to achieve on a nightly basis. During this phase, your brain activity is at its highest and you experience dreams. An interesting, yet slightly frightening, tidbit that occurs during this stage is temporary muscle paralysis. This prevents you from actually acting out your high school’s version of “A Midsummer Night's Dream” in the nude in front of all your classmates. REM sleep lasts around 90 minutes and typically occurs 3-4 times per night.
More Than Exhaustion
Everyone knows what it feels like to not get enough sleep. You are irritable, have trouble focusing, and feel fatigued the following day. Apparently, pressing snooze more than once is also a sign you are not getting adequate sleep. Strangely, up until two weeks ago when I stopped drinking, I would press snooze probably 8 times before officially waking up. I truly thought that’s what everyone did in the morning.
However, there are some not-so-obvious side effects of sleep deprivation that are harder to identify. Weakened immunity, slower reaction time, and memory problems are all attributed to lack of sleep and have a major impact on your mind and body. These symptoms not only make you less effective during the day, but they can also put you at physical risk. Research shows that sleep deprivation is more dangerous than buzzed driving since people often don’t realize they are drowsy before getting behind the wheel.
I am the world's biggest procrastinator and have had my fair share of all-nighters. However, forfeiting sleep for a final exam or an important meeting is literally the WORST thing you can do for memory retention. When you sleep, your brain converts short-term memory to long-term memory. If you don’t sleep, your brain will not be able to store new information, therefore, leaving you pretty much fucked for your exam. I can’t even tell you the amount of mind blanks I’ve had on tests in the past for this EXACT reason.
Of course, you can cram right before the exam (which I have done on countless occasions) and hope for the best, but all the info will go out the window after your presentation or test is over.
The Silent Killer
Now that I’ve detailed the short term effects of sleep deprivation, it’s only appropriate to traumatize you all with the long-term effects. Sleep deprivation is closely linked to deadly conditions such as hypertension, heart disease, diabetes and stroke. Unfortunately, as is the case with many of these diseases, you won’t know you have them until it’s too late. A study from Harvard Medical School found that individuals who sleep under 5 hours a night have a 15% chance of increased death.
The reason sleep deprivation and these other deadly health issues are so closely linked is attributed to stress which is connected to inflammation, increased blood pressure and impaired control of blood glucose.
Bottom line, unless you are an anomaly like the CEOs I mentioned earlier, you are not doing yourself any favors by forfeiting your sleep. Trust me, no one cares that you woke up at 4am this morning to go to the gym or stayed up until 3am working on the perfect presentation. All you are doing is harming yourself and potentially shortening your lifespan.
I hate to be that bitch to make you wait but be sure to check back next week, when I give you some tangible tools to improve your sleep and help prevent you from dying a shorter, more disease-riddled life. I consider myself a professional sleeper so you know I’ll have the goods.
