Don’t Be A Thirsty Bitch.
Before we start, it’s only right for me to state that this entire post encompasses a first world problem at its finest. It might be cringeworthy at times, but try to stick with me because there is a method to my madness.
Are you thirsty literally all day? Do you carry a water bottle with you wherever you go just in case you get thirsty? Do you drink liters of water each day and still find yourself wanting more? Do you want me to get to the fucking point?
If you were anything like me, you are probably always drinking water and never fully satisfied. Before I started my survival journey, I never thought I was actually dehydrated since I was constantly drinking water and my urine was literally clear. However, I did experience lightheadedness to the point of almost passing out and excruciating muscle cramps that would wake me up out of a dead sleep so maybe it was fairly obvious.
It’s also worth noting that because I was constantly drinking water, my body wasn’t absorbing the nutrients it needed since I was, as a result, peeing every 45 minutes. This was one of the main reasons why I was still a very thirsty bitch- my electrolytes were completely diminished. From the results of my urine analysis, my doctor found that my oxidative stress levels were very high and I needed to increase my antioxidant intake ASAP. I always thought that the term “antioxidant” was created by the wellness community in order to get you to eat more berries. I never truly took that word seriously, especially since I had bigger fish to fry “health-wise”.
One of the biggest game changers I currently implement into my daily routine is glycine powder. Not only does this powder help replenish your electrolytes, but it’s also a main component in the production of collagen. You can be a snatched and hydrated bitch all at the same time.
Another cause of my excessive thirst was the type of water I was drinking. Cue the cringe. As I’m sure similar to many of you reading, I used to exclusively drink filtered water because I thought it was the cleanest water available. Well, what do you know, I was wrong. Let’s all do a preemptive eye roll and move the fuck on because I am about to drop some disturbing facts. Now that we got that out of our system, I realize that having the luxury of filtered water is a privilege beyond itself, but did you know that it might not be as beneficial as you think?
I know, it’s shocking. It wasn’t until I saw my naturopath that I learned the hard-to-believe, yet understandable, truth. She told me that drinking nothing is more beneficial to your health than drinking filtered water alone.
I honestly thought this was bullshit at first and started to think she was taking the natural route a bit too far. However, she went on to explain that the majority of filters use a system called reverse osmosis which removes ALL the good and bad contents of water. This means that the essential minerals that make water the PUREST and MOST IMPORTANT element on the planet are eliminated in this filtration process. Right when I didn’t think my new health routine could get any more extra, she dropped this tidbit of info on me.
I introduce to you the, subjectively but with research, most nutritious type of water one can consume- natural spring water. Spring water NATURALLY (being the operative word) balances your pH levels, oxygenates your cells, and doesn’t leave your mouth dry like the morning after a night of too many martinis.
My favorites:
Fiji- the mother-fucking GOAT in my humble opinion. It’s more on the expensive side, but personally, it is worth every penny because of its crisp taste and straight-from-the-source guarantee. It has a pH of 7.7, contains natural minerals and electrolytes to keep you hydrated and is NATURALLY FILTERED due to its artisan properties. Fancy.
Waiakea- this is sourced from a volcanic well (so pretty damn legit), is naturally alkaline, high in electrolytes, and made from 100% recycled material so you won’t feel like a total asshole using plastic water bottles.
Please note- neither of these companies are sponsoring me (yet) to say this. They are just THAT good.
The giant and wasteful elephant in the room is, in fact, the plastic water bottles. There’s no getting around the fact that bottled water is bad for the environment which is why we simply can’t have nice things. However, one way to help cut down on plastic use is by adding electrolytes to your filtered water. This way you will know your water is clean and have the minerals to make you the hydrated queen (or king) you know you are. Since we have already established that sugar is the antichrist, make sure it’s a natural brand without any additives. Endure electrolytes is my go-to product and has helped tremendously with aiding my thirst. It does have a slight aftertaste, but the benefits of not having to pee every hour outweigh this. Obviously, neither of these options are as eco-friendly as tap water and there is still a long way to go before spring water is accessible to everyone in the most eco-friendly way.
Let’s finish on an even more nauseatingly privileged note (if that’s even possible.) Can you believe that some bottled water isn’t as clean as it says? You probably can because the food industry is corrupt as fuck. Even when you think you’re being health-conscious, the sneaky bastards at the major food and beverage conglomerates still find ways to fuck up even the purest of substances.
Dasani- manufactured by Coca-Cola, need I say more. Coca-Cola came out publicly and stated that Dasani is “essentially tap water” so you’re paying for something you can get from your kitchen sink.
Aquafina- manufactured by Pepsi. Again, who wants to drink water from a soda company anyway? Not only does Aquafina contain little to no minerals, it was also voted the worst tasting bottled water. So there’s that.
Poland Spring- Upon further review of this popular brand, I discovered a shocking lawsuit against them. Not only have there been known contaminants found in their water, but their water might not even come from a spring at all. In fact, the ‘spring’ where it was originally sourced dried up over 50 years ago! To make matters worse, in 2013, The Huffington Post reported that there were traces of gasoline found in some of their water.
The Bottom Line:
Filtered water is not going to kill you but it’s not necessarily as healthy as advertised. If you’re thirsty AF like I was, try spring water or adding electrolytes to your filtered water.
If you want to go even more natural route and feel like Gwyneth Paltrow after a Goop retreat, you need to check out sea salt lemon water:
Ingredients:
Two cups of filtered water
2 tablespoons of freshly squeezed lemon juice
¼ teaspoon of Himalayan sea salt
I am sure you are thinking, “doesn’t salt water dehydrate you?” You would be correct because, in large doses, it does. If you’re ever stranded on a deserted island, please don’t drink the salt water because you will in fact die a slow and painful death. But in small doses, the salt actually helps increase your water retention so that your body has an easier time absorbing the water and minerals it contains.
Be a thirsty bitch no more, and get on that spring water train!
