Not Even A PSL Can Fix This
Currently, it’s 5pm and it’s pitch black outside. I am exhausted, anxious and, honestly, wishing the day would end so I can go to sleep. Ever since the weather has started to change over the past couple of weeks, I have been getting into bed by 8pm each night, sleeping 10-11 hours and waking up even more tired than I was the day before. My caffeine intake has increased astronomically and every task I do feels like I’m training for an ironman championship. If that wasn’t enough, I also have this constant, lingering feeling that I should be doing more, but not having the energy or motivation to do so.
Let me preface this by saying that I don’t hate ALL aspects of fall and winter. I do love when the leaves change, a warm coffee by the fireplace and the “occasional” snowstorm that requires you to stay home and binge watch your favorite show. I tolerate the cold up until Christmas, but on December 26th, it’s time to warm up and transition onto spring. From the months of November through April, I, more often than not, wear two pairs of pants (which is so flattering) because I am always fucking cold. I have been tested for anemia and hypothyroidism (hypochondria strikes again) but both results came back normal. They diagnosed me with being a cold-hearted, I mean, cold-blooded bitch.
I always assumed that my overall mood changed so drastically in the winter months because I just wasn’t a “cold weather person”. While this might still be true, I realized it runs much deeper than that because of the impact the weather has on my mental health. I have suffered from depression in the past, but every year like clockwork, it hits me like a giant snow plow. Seasonal depression is a real thing and affects around 5% of the U.S. population. I mean, can you blame us for being afflicted? The days are shorter, it’s darker earlier and social isolation hits its peak. We’ve all seen The Shining, right?
Since half of the year, for much of the population, is pretty damn cold, I needed to come up with solutions to get myself out of this annual funk. When my depression kicks in, and let’s be real, it’s not only in the winter for me, the following are some helpful tips I try to implement in my daily routine.
DIET
A healthy diet isn’t only important for your physical health, but it’s also instrumental in your mental health. **My apologies if it feels like I’m beating a dead horse with the diet discussions, but it’s just THAT important. When I am depressed, food is a major source of immediate comfort for me. I used to rely on my favorite comfort foods- imagine tons of chocolate, candy, and lots and lots of bread- to get me through tough times. However, I quickly realized that I wasn’t getting any actual comfort from these so-called “comfort” foods. My anxiety would get triggered and my blood level would spike due to the insulin shock to my body.
Even though you might prefer a pint of ice cream or a double cheeseburger in the moment of a depressive episode, the Mediterranean diet and omega-3 fatty acids have been shown, through documented research, to help curb your depression with their anti-inflammatory properties.
Mediterranean Diet- consists of plant-based foods such as legumes, fruits, vegetables, nuts, healthy fats/oils and whole grains.
Omega 3 fatty acids-can be taken in supplement form
also found in fish (mackerel, wild salmon and sardines- don’t knock' em til you try’ em), seeds (hemp and chia) and walnuts.
It’s important for me to note that I do not follow one strict diet. I take elements from many different diets, the Mediterranean diet being one of them, and tailor it to what makes me feel my best overall.
EXERCISE
There’s no getting around this tale as old as time: exercise leads to mental clarity. Well, this is easy to say when you’re not depressed on the couch contemplating the meaning of life. If anyone has experienced depression, you probably know that exercise is on the top of the list of things you simply do not want to do. The thought of exerting energy to move your body sounds as appealing as being waterboarded. However, as difficult as it is, I try my hardest to do some form of physical activity every day- even if it’s just walking around the block.
As irritating as I’m about to sound, being active truly does help improve your mental health. Let’s be real, no one has ever felt worse after working out. That is, unless they get injured, but that’s another story. This doesn’t mean you have to be on the leaderboard of your Peloton class or do an intense five mile run for it to be considered “exercise”. I used to do high intensity workouts with the only goal to burn as many calories as I could and literally despised every moment of it. Recently, however, I have reframed my entire mindset around working out. My main objective now is to quiet my mind (which is a chatty motherfucker) and just move. It’s a much more enjoyable experience when you're not silently cursing your fitness instructor the entire time.
REDUCE ALCOHOL
This one is probably one of the most obvious, yet difficult tactics when it comes to maintaining my own mental stability. When I am at my most anxious or most depressed state, alcohol becomes my toxic best friend. Having a glass (or three) of wine at night seems like the perfect reward for my stressful day and even makes me really happy...in the moment. In reality, alcohol is the two-faced bitch who slept with your boyfriend and doesn't care about you at all.
While alcohol can make the pain go away for the night, it is still there in the morning and, more often than not, makes you feel worse. Don’t get me wrong, alcohol is great when you don’t abuse it. But when you use it as a self-medicating mechanism, which I sometimes do, I guarantee it will make you feel 10x worse than you already do. My advice would be to skip the booze until you feel better. Your brain will thank you in the long run.
SLEEP
Don’t forget to go easy on yourself! If you’re tired, GO TO SLEEP. Sleep is one of the most important (and most neglected) things you can do for your body and is linked to your productivity, your immunity and your MENTAL FUCKING HEALTH. Sleep gives your body a chance to recharge and your mind a chance to rest after a terrible day. As I mentioned in the beginning of the post, I fucking love sleep. It’s truly one of my favorite pastimes (I think it’s the Taurus in me).
However, I sometimes need to check myself if I’m getting too much R&R since that could worsen my depression. All in all, you need to prioritize sleep. Take it from me, the viral video of the dog blowing out his birthday candles will be there tomorrow morning.
MEDICATION
When all else fails, God created this amazing product called antidepressants. I know, and understand, the reluctance to try antidepressants because of the stigma associated with them. It might also seem strange for me, someone who preaches the all-natural route, to praise medication. However, I believe that medication does save lives when used properly and effectively. Unfortunately, even with medication, I still get anxious and depressed at times. This is why I carry these tools up my sleeve in case I need a little reminder.
